With each day that passes, I can see my life slowly fading away. I wake up, turn the computer on, and sit there from morning to night; only moving to get myself a cup of coffee, or something to eat.
I've always just gotten on with it, and accepted the issues I have. But, sometimes there are instances when I see just how sad my life is, and how much I am wasting it. I have many friends, I don't really know why, but I do. When I speak to them I hear their stories of meeting the girl of their dreams, and telling me I should come out and meet her, but I just can't, and they don't seem to understand. My friends are good, and have always accepted me for who I am, and know that I can't go out, but I just wish sometimes that they could call me without inviting me to go out, and we could just have a pleasant conversation over the phone instead.
I often gaze out of my window and watch the world go by - I see friends meeting up to go out and party on Friday night, I see families coming together, and I see young couples sharing a moment of sheer passion and love for each other, be it through a simple kiss. I see what I'm missing out on, and have no means to "Get in on the act." as they say.
I think in the future I will end up either ending my life, or turning it around completely. Of course, I would prefer the latter choice to come into fruition, but if I were a gambling man, I'd put my money on the first. The reason I say that is because I'm too afraid of walking out of that door to see the psychologist, and I do not have the money to go private. I wish I did. There are also other reasons - not having many understanding family members around, and not having a strong enough mind to combat the issue myself.
0 comments:
Post a Comment